sha v 4.0

Welcome, everyone. On behalf of Yar and Jan I want to thank everyone for coming today. For those of you whom I haven’t met yet, my name is Sha Sha and I’m a friend of Yar and Jan’s from Stanford. I’d like to start by telling all of you the story of how I conned Yar and Jan into letting me marry them. A few years ago, a group of us took a trip to Australia and New Zealand. It was at a dinner in Sydney, and the subject of their wedding came up, and I asked if I could marry them. Keep in mind it was late, we were jet lagged, and probably a little drunk, but they said, “Sure!” I asked them if they were sure, because if they agreed, I was going to write it down and then they’d have to let me do it. They said okay, so here I am! And that’s why you should always write things down.

In all seriousness, the real reason I was so excited about being able to marry them is that I really believe in them as a couple. I think I am a bit of a rarity in this group because I have only ever known Yar and Jan as a couple, and I really couldn’t imagine it any other way. As different as they are, and as independent as they are, I believe they are truly meant to be together. Just a few days ago when we were having dinner in Old San Juan, the subject of travel came up, and Jan looked at Yar and said, “No matter where we go, as long as you’re there, I feel like everything will be okay.” [At this point, a number of the people in the crowd said, "Aww...."] And really, you only have to hear them call each other “Hubbin” and “Wifey” once to know this is for real.
As you all know, Yar and Jan were already legally married in a small city hall ceremony in San Francisco about a year ago. As and aside, I was a little disappointed about this, but only because it meant I didn’t get to become an ordained minister over the internet., but I’ll get over it. So if they are already married, what are they here today? Well no matter how much two people love each other, a marriage is only as strong as the amount of support it receives, and that is why you all are here today. Yar and Jan have chosen to stand before you today to publicly declare their commitment to each other, and I invite you to join me in taking this opportunity to declare to them your love, support, and commitment for them as individuals and as a couple, in good times and in difficult times, as they continue in their shared life together from this day forward.

Marriage…is about a lot of things. [A few people started giggling after I said 'Marriage' here because they had offered me money to talk like the priest in The Princess Bride. I didn't say it all, but I did manage one 'Mawwage.'] It’s about love, honesty, commitment, but most of all, it’s about trust. In the spirit of this trust, Yar and Jan have written each others vows, because as you all know, keeping promises you wrote yourself is pretty easy, but keeping a promise that someone else wrote, especially if that someone is Jan, is a whole lot harder. So here are the vows that Jan wrote for Yar, [hand vows to Yar] and here are the vows that Yar wrote for Jan [hand vows to Jan]. Keep in mind that neither of them have seen what they will be reading until now.

Yar? Whenever you’re ready.

[Yar reads the vows]

Jan?

[Jan reads the vows]

Rahul, may I please have the rings?

[They join hands]

Yar, repeat after me. Do you, Jan, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you for the rest of our lives?

[Jan: I do.]

Jan, repeat after me. Do you, Yar, take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you for the rest of our lives?

[Yar: I do.]

By the power vested in me by absolutely nobody, I now pronounce you Hubbin and Wifey. You may kiss the bride.