sha v 4.0

So another television season has come and gone, and it is time to check the accuracy (or lack thereof) of my previous predictions.

All in all, boy do my predictions suck. Let’s get a breakdown:

Alias: I had predicted that Lauren would go good at the end, but that she would die, thus somehow preventing Vaughn and Syd from getting back together. Not only was I wrong on the first point (although they did play with the idea a bit,) but on the second point, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Though Lauren did die, and Vaughn did kill her, Syd and Vaughn didn’t just get back together, they actually made out while Vaughn was shooting Lauren. Seriously.

I was right about my secondary prediction of Sloane having a hidden motive, though. It was revealed that he and he daughter (who can solve complex equations in her head while in a drug-induced stupor) are running off to find the Rambaldi artifact together. For what purpose, who knows? Nobody cares about Rambaldi but the crack-smoking writers.

American Idol: Boy, I didn’t see that one coming. I predicted the top three to be George Huff, LaToya London, and Fantasia Barrino, in that order. Little did I know that George and LaToya would be voted off fairly early on. Crazy teenyboppers.

Again, though, I was right about John Stevens being painfully boring.

Friends: Finally one that I was spot-on about. Ross and Rachel did indeed ride off into the proverbial sunset.

Survivor: All-Stars: I’m pretty sure Rob didn’t win, but I think he came in second. Not bad for someone who’s never seen the show.

Star Wars: Episode III: This still remains to be seen, but I stand by my predictions.

The O.C.: A fairly odd season finale that ended with Ryan going back to Chino (i.e. “Da Ghetto”), Marissa going back to her alcoholic ways, and Seth sailing off to Tahiti in a very small, dangerous-looking boat. But we were still treated to Peter Gallagher’s fantasmic eyebrows, so it was all good. In the meantime, maybe I’ll check out North Shore, i.e. “The O.C., but in Hawaii.”

Here are my predictions for various upcoming TV shows and movies. These are mostly here so that I can look back later and see if I was right. Please note that I am “spoiler-free”, as the cool kids say, so if you know something that I don’t know, please don’t say it here.

Alias: Lauren will have a change of heart towards the end, but will be killed (possibly by Vaughn,) leaving Vaughn guilt-ridden. This is what will prevent he and Sydney getting together right away in the next season.

Secondary prediction: Sloane has some sort of hidden motive (besides the whole daughter thing.) I’m still torn about the good-or-evil question, but I think he will eventually become evil again, although maybe not this season.

American Idol: George Huff will win, LaToya London will be runner-up, Fantasia Barrino will be third. I don’t think that George is necessarily a better singer, but I don’t think LaToya has the rabid fan base to make her win.

Secondary prediction: John Stevens will be painfully boring.

Friends: Ross and Rachel will end up together.

Survivor: All-Stars: Rob will win. Note: I’ve never actually watched Survivor: All-Stars, and thus am not 100% sure there is actually a contestant named Rob.

Star Wars: Episode III: The death of Amidala will tip Anakin over the edge to the Dark Side. I see two possible scenarios here. The first, and I think more interesting, possibility is that Anakin himself will kill Amidala, forcing Obi-Wan to fight him to stop the madness (in the Dark Side sort of way, not the Susan Powers sort of way.) The second possibility is that Amidala will be killed by someone else, and Anakin will blame Obi-Wan for Amidala’s death, leading to the show down which will produce the Sith Lord we all know and love.

Secondary prediction: Senator Palpatine is not Darth Sidious. Unless George Lucas thinks we are all idiots (which is a possibility, I admit,) I think it’s way too obvious that Palpatine and Sidious are the same person. I think there’s some sort of cloning action going on there.

Tertiary prediction: the movie will be full of poorly-done CG, wooden acting, and I will likely weep in sadness at its conclusion.

Edit:

The O.C.: Marissa will be a bad actor and look older than the rest of the cast, despite being the only true teenager on the show. Ryan will be dark and brooding and look like a young Russell Crowe. Seth will be dorky and annoying, and I will feel geeky when I recognize the names of all the comic book writers he talks about. Theresa will be in love with Ryan. Eddie will look like Satan. Sandy’s eyebrows will be magnificent.

Speaking of The O.C., did anyone find it kind of creepy last night that Summer took her dad’s opinion so seriously? “My dad is my best friend” isn’t a very good excuse. Also, I found it funny that Julie’s sister mentioned Julie getting botox, when clearly her swollen upper lip was partially paralyzed by the stuff.

I have now officially regressed to age 12.