sha v 4.0

So I’m younger by 2 ½ years, and now that I think about it, I’ve spent most of my life chasing Mae Mae. When she played violin, I had to play violin. When she joined the swim team, I did too. When she got a crazy mushroom haircut in elementary school, so did I. (And we have the horrible school pictures to prove it.) In fact, our Mom told me that my first words were “me too.” And I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but I did all these things not to be annoying (although I was,) but because of how much I admired Mae Mae and everything that she did.

After I stopped trying to be Mae Mae, I realized what a good friend she could be to me. When she left for college, I didn’t realize how much I would miss her, and not just because my parents suddenly remembered that they still had a 3rd kid at home, and redirected all of their parental attentions to me. There is nobody who understands me, tolerates me, and can make me laugh the way that Mae Mae can, and when we’re not trying to kill each other, she is the best sister I could ask for. And she’s also the only person in the whole world who really understands what ‘woogy’ means.

Now as most of you probably know, Gino is one of Arthur’s best friends from college, so I’ve sort of been aware of his existence for a long time. But when he started dating Mae Mae 5 years ago, I started to get to know more about him. The first thing I found out was that he is really smart. Like, really. Two of the smartest people I know, both of whom happen to be in this room, my brother and Adrian Longland, (who is the first engineer I ever worked with at EA,) have both independently told me over the years that Gino is the smartest person *they* know. The only thing that disappoints me about this is that Mae Mae and Gino’s kids are going to make my kids look really, really dumb. Hopefully my kids will at least be taller.

But as smart as Gino is, I know that married life can be tough, especially when you’re marrying into the Chu family, so I thought I’d give him a head start by giving him some tips about life with Mae Mae that I’ve personally gathered over the last 30 years.

1) If you poop in the bathtub, don’t lie about it and say you didn’t. When you get up to reach for the soap, she’ll know.

2) If you ever get really sick and have to stay in the hospital for a week, our Mom will make her do your homework for you. Don’t abuse this privilege.

3) If you find a wild turtle in the front yard, don’t let Mae Mae prove to you how strong its shell is by dropping a massive rock on it. It doesn’t end well, especially for the turtle.

4) If you’re snorkeling in the Caribbean together, no matter how hilarious the idea seems, don’t cover up her snorkel with your hand. That one won’t end well for you.

Finally, even if things get bad, all you have to do is love her as completely as I know she loves you, and everything will turn out all right.

So congratulations to the two of you, and Gino, welcome to the family!