Two nights ago I had a very strange dream. I had been kidnapped by some Made Up Dream Guy, and was sitting on the couch in what I presume was his home or hideout or something. He then put the end of a length of tubing underneath my nose which released gas and made me pass out. This was strange because I was, you know, already sleeping. Anyway, eventually I woke back up and came up with a clever plan to escape. I put the tube underneath his nose to make him pass out. After a couple minutes he did, but my ultra-clever plan was foiled when I saw a previously-unnoticed second Made Up Dream Kidnapper Guy staring at me. I decided to come up with an alternate plan and told him that I had to go to the bathroom. When I went into the next room, who should I see sitting there? None other than May Ling.

"May Ling!" I said, "Call for help!"
"I can't," she replied. "I don't have reception."
"I do; I have Verizon!"

....

EH??? Since when did my dreams become commercials for cell phone carriers? So sad.

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